Ebony's Pearls

Itzl, Bringing Me His Toy
Originally uploaded by nodigio.

ozarque posited a Deposit and Withdrawal List for discussing household chores and women's work and things of that nature that she's named LETS.

I like the concept and think it has broader implications than she mentioned. She may have thought of these, but they weren't in her post, and my comments and thinking about it are much longer than would fit in her comment section, so I brought it here.

I've read a number of her books (and I think I own a vast majority of them) and I think she's been demonstrating this concept without explicitly spelling it out anywhere. I went back and re-read her Ozark and Native Tongue novels to be sure.

Now, what she presented in her post was the concept of creating a list with a Deposit Column and a Withdrawal Column so household tasks would be done and everyone could see who was doing them and how long it took them to do it. The Deposit Column was wonderfully well explained with solid examples.

It was the Withdrawal Column that wasn't so well explained. Women of our generation (and I am brazenly placing myself in her generation even though I am a decade younger) weren't raised to think of doing things for ourselves or taking time for ourselves or having other people do for us. It took me a while to think things through, and I feel her novels (and Ursula K. LeQuin's, and Lois McMaster Bujold's) all contributed to helping me formulate a way to explain what I think the Withdrawal part of the system is. I could be wrong, but this sounds right to me.

The Deposit part is when you do things for other people - wash dishes, do common laundry, mow the grass, paint the house, unclog a sink, diaper the baby, sit with a sick relative, scrub the toilet, supervise a child's homework, bake cupcakes for the school Bake Sale, fix a flat tire on a bicycle for a neighbor's kid. I'm not limiting it just to immediate family or even to extended family. I want to include co-workers here, and next door neighbors, and the people where one regularly shops. It's everything you do for others, big or little.

The Withdrawal part is when other people do things for you or you get to do things for yourself. Say you break your arm, and you can't wash your hair, or do the dishes, or drive to work or shopping, and someone else has to do those things for you. Those people are making a Deposit, and you are making a Withdrawal.

Then there are the pure Withdrawals, when you spend time just for yourself. There is no balancing Deposit from someone else. It is time one spends on oneself for oneself. It might be termed selfish. Or, it might be viewed as "refilling one's cornucopia", "investing in oneself", or other such ways of looking at it. The time could be spent watching a favorite TV show, walking in the woods, uninterrupted alone time to read, think, or even nap.

The Deposits and Withdrawals don't necessarily equal out in either the short term or the long term. Personally, I think ending one's life with time still on Deposit is a Very Good Thing. But it shouldn't be excessive so no one would think at your funeral that you were a martyr of some sort.

My father-in-law called this the "Good Old Boy System" - where people do favors for one another and then call them in at need. Maybe that's how it works for men. The "Good Old Boy System" doesn't work within a family, though, not that I can tell, anyway.

I think Dr. Elgin's LETS/Home/Life Banking System is a model that can work very well for women, families, and friends.

Everyone can have their personal Bank, but it works best if it's displayed as a family or community effort. It gives everyone a chance to see exactly what it takes for everyone to be comfortable and happy - and it allows the one who ends up doing the bulk of the scutwork to point to exactly what they do. Sometimes when people can physically see the scutwork some else is doing for them, they have the opportunity to take over some of the scutwork for themselves. Or maybe, to appreciate it more.

Unfortunately, I can also see how it can be used punitively - overdrafts would be really painful and possibly life-threatening. People might decide someone doesn't have enough Deposits to cover the Withdrawal they need to make, and refuse to cover it, or demand that X number of Deposits be made before the Withdrawal is allowed.

The only way I can think to get around this is if someone decides to transfer some of ther Deposits over to help cover the deficit. I'm not sure how this would make people feel.

Is it even possible to transfer Deposits to someone else?