Ebony's Pearls

Mermaid
Originally uploaded by nodigio

http://www.newsweek.com/id/132240
"My Beautiful Mommy"

I haven’t read the book because it’s not out yet, but this article and the sample illustrations just make me cringe. I’m not anti-cosmetic surgery because I feel people have the right to alter and augment their bodies any way they choose to, whether it’s via piercings and tattoos or tummy tucks and rhinoplasty. Having books and materials to help family members – especially children - understand what’s happening is a good idea, but it seems this one makes it seem as if the mother (and what about all the fathers who get cosmetic surgery? I know of several fathers who’ve had tummy tucks, breast reductions, eye lifts, nose restructuring, and gastric bypass surgery) is doing it just to be “prettier”. The message this book seems to send (based on the sample illustrations and article commentary) is that family features (once a matter of pride) aren’t acceptable, that women need to alter their looks in any way possible to be prettier – and with the implication that the children will be undergoing similar procedures when they get older. This kind of explanation can cause children to worry about their own appearances, like Alicia Douvall’s daughter (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23548482-5007132,00.html) . I agree with Elisabeth Berger, a child psychiatrist and author of “Raising Kids with Character”. “She wishes that the mom had just said something like, “This is silly, but I really want it anyway.””

This book feeds into the CNN article about perfect women (http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/15/o.balance/index.html). It’s impossible for a woman to live a balanced life because society’s definition of what a woman should be is fundamentally unbalanced. There’s a gentle revolution going on where women have accepted that they cannot meet all of society’s demands and so have chosen to redefine how to live. Instead of living life from the outside, based on peer pressure, societal expectations, and impossible media representations, we have chosen to live our lives from the inside, based upon what we can do, what we need to do, and what we want to do. Each woman’s life is different, and each is worthy. We aren’t perfect little mechanical Stepford Wives with scriptwriters, set designers, and directors guiding our every visible step; we are human beings living life in the raw. So we’re not perfect. What we are is honest, creative, and kind.

And if women (and men) want to alter their bodies to make themselves feel better, shouldn’t books addressing the issue to children be more honest about it?